January 9, 1979: Charlton strikers Mike Flanagan and Derek Hales are sent off for fighting each other. February 26, 1993: Tony Adams falls down stairs at Pizza Hut. June 31, 1998: Paul Gascoigne is charged by the FA with sporting large comedy breasts on the field of play. His lawyers ask for a spare tyre and several chins to be taken into consideration. September 19, 1993: The Sunday Mirror publishes a story about Brian Clough being found in a ditch at a local cricket club. There's a year's worth of bizarre anniversaries like these in The Official Fantasy Football Diary, and plenty of space to make some up and fill in your own (hint--one of the above "facts" is, in the strictly legal sense, a complete lie). Does your birthday share a date with the untimely demise of Pickles the World Cup Dog?. Will you be having exploratory root canal work on the same day that Glenn Hoddle & Chris Waddle released "Diamond Lights" on an unsuspecting world? Keep your days to remember alongside some of the great moments in the history of the beautiful game. Or track your fantasy football team's progress while you learn of some of the more bizarre moments in the world's favourite sport. Introduced by sometime flatmates Baddiel & Skinner, the diary captures the flavour of the award-winning show and in a tactical coup worthy of Graham Taylor in his pomp, completely ignores the days of the week. Which means this diary is designed for a lifetime's sterling service, oblivious to the passing of the years. Like Statto's pajamas. --Alex Hankin